Being a mom at LFM

So one of the main reasons i want to blog is to share my experiences as a mother while being an LFM student. My intent is to be available to other moms, as well as to non-moms, that are considering attending LFM and have questions or just want to chat.

When I was considering applying to LFM, my daughter was just turning 2 years old. At my previous job I had the pleasure of getting to know an LFM06 mom who was doing her LFM internship at the site I worked. It was very powerful for me to meet and talk to a mom that was attending LFM while raising a child, and if I hadn't met her and her family maybe I wouldn't have thought of LFM as a program you could attend while raising a family.

Not everyone has the luxury of meeting LFM alumni or interns before they apply, which is the reason for me taking time to write this blog. If there are other moms out there right now in a similar situation to the one I was in; hesitating to apply to LFM because of the fear of jeopardizing the quality with which she will be able to raise her family, I feel it is my call to be there for her to tell her about my experience and give her my perspective. I'm not trying to convince anyone to attend, but merely provide some more data to enable other moms and their families to make the right decision for them, regardless of the outcome.

So what is it like? Well' I wish I could say that it is easy, but it's not. I wish I could tell you I have perfect balance in my life, but I don't. I definitely haven't figured it all out, but I'm working on it, every day, every hour. One thing I have learned is that it would be much worse if I didn't have full support from my LFM "family". The support I have from my classmates and the LFM program is tremendous, and has helped me very much. My LFM summer teammates have been absolutely fantastic and I have countless examples of how my teammates have adapted to allow me to take care of my daughter or provide me some extra time to spend with her. For example, we have on several occasions had team meetings at my apartment instead of in the LFM office to do homework. At one point my daughter, Julia, was spending several hours per week with us in our LFM conference room while we were working on group projects, and I have gotten nothing but kindness from my teammates. I truly feel my teammates now include Julia as part of our team, it's really cool!


Another essential thing I have learned is to prioritize, prioritize, prioritize, and be creative in how you prioritize. I knew before I came here that I wouldn't have time to do all of the stuff I wanted to do. At the same time getting the full LFM experience was (and is) very important to me, as you only go though this program once. So I have tried to achieve some balance between all the different things there is to do while in LFM, and the things I participate in to allow me to spend quality time with my family. I decided to try and take part in all the different types of LFM activities, but not do as much of it as others may be. For example, I am involved in LFM committees, but not as many as I would have liked to. I do homework, but not all of it (I try to do all of it, but sometimes enough is enough). I read my e-mail once per day (my classmates will tell me if there is something important I need to read). I work out, but not as much as I used to (this is really not OK, but it's just so difficult to get up an hour early to go running). I go out and socialize with my LFM classmates, but definitely not as much as some, and I don't go until Julia is already sleeping. I eat food, I just don't take time to cook long meals. I sleep, just not as much as I used to (there is always a tradeoff). I don't watch TV.

Another thing that has allowed both me and my husband to get the full LFM experience is to take turns participating in LFM sports and social activities (while one of us participates, the other watches Julia). For example, my husband is coaching the LFM Softball team this summer, and I will be playing ice hockey this winter. My husband usually goes to the Muddy (MIT's on campus pub) after softball games, and I will go out and socialize on one of the weekend nights instead.

Finally, the most important lesson I have learned is to be honest and real. There are always going to be trade offs and I can't beat myself up for not being able to do everything. As long as I do what is important to me and my family, and as long as I have no regrets, I will be fine.

See you next time!